39 weeks 3 days

As I sit here with 4 days until my due date it is hard to imagine how you can love someone so much that you've never met.

 Maybe it's because they have been with you everyday for the last nine months, or that you felt them move for the first time or hiccup daily, or maybe it's that you've heard their tiny heartbeat grow stronger and stronger throughout the last nine months. But, whatever the reason, you simply love and adore them unconditionally. I've gotten to know his individual personality and how he gets annoyed when he gets the hiccups. He doesn't like it when I lay on my back because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like when the elastic on the waist of my maternity pants intrude on his space and will push against it until I adjust them.

As my pregnancy comes to an end its truly a bittersweet time for me. Trying so hard for the last 10 years to have another child only to have nothing but disappointment shows me there are such things as miracles, they just happen when you least expect them. As much as I am ready to have my body back and be free from the burning hips and bruised feeling along my pelvis, the ache and numbness from pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in both hands and arms, more frequent than not bathroom breaks, tossing and turning all night because I can't get comfortable, perpetual heartburn, and inability to sit, walk, or stand for long because of intense pressure, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I would do it all again for either of my kids, even the one that I lost too soon. I guess that's what it's all about to be a mom.

So, this Christmas my wish is for everyone to believe in miracles. They may be big or little, but they are real. I will make this wish on Christmas day while I'm holding MY little miracle in my arms.

37 week 2 days

I am getting miserable!

I went in yesterday for my weekly appt. and my ultrasound. Since my belly has consistently been measuring 4 weeks bigger since week 25 or so. They wanted to get an estimate of his weight. According to the size of his head, abdomen and femur, he is right around 7lbs 4oz., which puts him in the 78th percentile for age. However, ultrasounds are not the most accurate when it comes to determining weight. Therefore he could be a pound (give or take) in either direction of that. They also found my amniotic fluid to be higher than normal, which is another reason I could be measuring larger. I have gained a total of 30 pounds and 3 of that was just last week, but since I am a little puffy, they think most of that is water retention.

So....the wait continues. We will see if Gavin makes his presence before or after his due date. I am really hoping it's not until after Thanksgiving so I'm trying to hold out for atleast another 2 weeks......UGH!

Week 36

With just under a month left to go, (or 29 days, but who's counting!), I can't help but think how fast this pregnancy really went. With Karlie it seemed to go on for years, of course I wasn't working and went in her room to re-arrange things daily. This time I worked up until 34 weeks so those 34 weeks flew by as I was occupied with "stuff". Now that I have weekly Dr's appointments its nice to be off work so I can schedule those whenever I want.

I will admit as much as I am trying to treasure every moment since this baby boy's life started, I am anxious to be able to put on my pants without pelvic pain when I lift one leg, or back pain when I roll over at night to the other side. But most of all I miss uninterrupted sleep because my arms constantly fall asleep. Even as I sit here and type this my right hand is numb because I have to rest it up right towards the keyboard. When I'm not typing I have to point it down to the ground so the blood runs back to my fingertips.

Tomorrow is my 36 week Dr. appt. and I am hoping he does an ultrasound soon to see how big Gavin might be.

4 weeks left!! I am READY!

Week 9! I think we now have a grape.

Friday was officially my 9th week.

I purchased my first "baby" things today. It was really exciting. I was on Baby's R us.com last night for an hour checking out all of the things they have for babies now. 12 years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter, they had nothing quite as cool as the things they have today. Some of my favorites are the Boppy pillow, the grocery cart cover that the kids sit in, and oh my, they have an abundance of swings and bouncers to choose from. I made note of a few I really liked. Then this morning we went to a neighborhood-wide garage sale and what did we come accross?? A baby bouncer and a swing! Actually the bouncer is the same one I was looking at last night online. Through Baby's R us, it was $45, at the garage sale, $5....and it looks brand new! I also found a swing that looks brand new for $8! So I got both for $13....CRAZY! They had a ton of baby clothes, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. Especially since we don't yet know what we are having.

I think we are going to find out though because we are pretty much starting over with buying new stuff. I have nothing left from when karlie was a baby. NOT ONE THING! According to my pregancy update the baby should be the size of a grape. Just a few more weeks of having that worried voice in my head, although I am feeling very good and hopefull. I don't think I will start prepping our tv room, which will be the nursery until October, so that we can still utilize it until then.