39 weeks 3 days

As I sit here with 4 days until my due date it is hard to imagine how you can love someone so much that you've never met.

 Maybe it's because they have been with you everyday for the last nine months, or that you felt them move for the first time or hiccup daily, or maybe it's that you've heard their tiny heartbeat grow stronger and stronger throughout the last nine months. But, whatever the reason, you simply love and adore them unconditionally. I've gotten to know his individual personality and how he gets annoyed when he gets the hiccups. He doesn't like it when I lay on my back because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like when the elastic on the waist of my maternity pants intrude on his space and will push against it until I adjust them.

As my pregnancy comes to an end its truly a bittersweet time for me. Trying so hard for the last 10 years to have another child only to have nothing but disappointment shows me there are such things as miracles, they just happen when you least expect them. As much as I am ready to have my body back and be free from the burning hips and bruised feeling along my pelvis, the ache and numbness from pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in both hands and arms, more frequent than not bathroom breaks, tossing and turning all night because I can't get comfortable, perpetual heartburn, and inability to sit, walk, or stand for long because of intense pressure, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I would do it all again for either of my kids, even the one that I lost too soon. I guess that's what it's all about to be a mom.

So, this Christmas my wish is for everyone to believe in miracles. They may be big or little, but they are real. I will make this wish on Christmas day while I'm holding MY little miracle in my arms.

37 week 2 days

I am getting miserable!

I went in yesterday for my weekly appt. and my ultrasound. Since my belly has consistently been measuring 4 weeks bigger since week 25 or so. They wanted to get an estimate of his weight. According to the size of his head, abdomen and femur, he is right around 7lbs 4oz., which puts him in the 78th percentile for age. However, ultrasounds are not the most accurate when it comes to determining weight. Therefore he could be a pound (give or take) in either direction of that. They also found my amniotic fluid to be higher than normal, which is another reason I could be measuring larger. I have gained a total of 30 pounds and 3 of that was just last week, but since I am a little puffy, they think most of that is water retention.

So....the wait continues. We will see if Gavin makes his presence before or after his due date. I am really hoping it's not until after Thanksgiving so I'm trying to hold out for atleast another 2 weeks......UGH!

Week 36

With just under a month left to go, (or 29 days, but who's counting!), I can't help but think how fast this pregnancy really went. With Karlie it seemed to go on for years, of course I wasn't working and went in her room to re-arrange things daily. This time I worked up until 34 weeks so those 34 weeks flew by as I was occupied with "stuff". Now that I have weekly Dr's appointments its nice to be off work so I can schedule those whenever I want.

I will admit as much as I am trying to treasure every moment since this baby boy's life started, I am anxious to be able to put on my pants without pelvic pain when I lift one leg, or back pain when I roll over at night to the other side. But most of all I miss uninterrupted sleep because my arms constantly fall asleep. Even as I sit here and type this my right hand is numb because I have to rest it up right towards the keyboard. When I'm not typing I have to point it down to the ground so the blood runs back to my fingertips.

Tomorrow is my 36 week Dr. appt. and I am hoping he does an ultrasound soon to see how big Gavin might be.

4 weeks left!! I am READY!

Week 34!

Well, work ended a week earlier than expected and it honestly couldn't have come at a better time. I got the head/chest cold that creeped up so fast on me i thought my head would start spinning. I'm now on day 5 and I'm feeling way better even than I was this morning. I had my baby shower this last weekend and got so many amazing gifts. A bunch of clothes, gift cards, blankets, diapers, wipes, hooded towels, a breast pump......I could go on. It really was an awesome day and it was incredible spending it with my family and friends.

It's hard to believe I am in the last 5-6 weeks of my pregnancy already. It really did fly by. I had my 34 week appt. today and I am still measuring 4 weeks big. So in about 3 weeks we will be having another ultrasound to get an estimate of how big Gavin is. I have a feeling he will be a little early because of the pressure and position he is in. I have finally finished washing and putting away most everything I got from my shower, and nesting is already starting. I am getting so eager to meet this little boy. As much as I love carrying him around and helping him grow everyday I am also eager to get my body back. Putting on my socks, laying/sitting down without my arms falling asleep....it's the little things that are missed. But then again it took 10 years of infertility, waiting and waiting for this baby that I will suffer for another 9 months if I had to.

It will all be worth it in the end. And when I am holding my beautiful boy I will forget all about the aches and pains. Looking back at how fast Karlie grew up it makes me want to embrace every moment, every second, every blink of an eye because they don't stay little for long. That is something I was always told but never fully understood until Karlie turned 10. And then it became clear that the previous 10 years were gone. I would never have the chance to do any of it over again with her. So this time, I want to take every minute I can and make the most with my kids, no matter the time of day, the cost or any other petty detail.

I want to enjoy every last second of his birth, infancy, and even terrible toddler years. Now I just need my baby boy!

Week 32- MIA

Holy Balls, I cannot even believe I have missed 6 weeks of updates. That shows how fast the time has been flying for me. between work, school, Dr. appt.'s and homeschooling a 12 year old, I'm at my limit! I have 11 days of work left and I am so ready to have some down time! I still have a lot to do before Gavin makes his appearance and I am very much looking forward to my baby show this weekend. I still have quite a bit left to get but just haven't had the time or energy to finish up.

Things are going very well pregnancy wise. I have been measuring 4 weeks bigger for the last month. I go in every 2 weeks now and that really makes time fly. I only have about 7 weeks left, but have a strong feeling he's going to come around Thanksgiving or shortly after. As soon as I am done with work I will have more time to spend updating here. Right now, I am so busy and tired all the time because I sleep so bad!

26 weeks

I did it again, missed another update. Guess my updates are more like every 2 weeks. I have been having a very hard time sleeping, I can't get comfortable and when I do my arms and hands fall asleep. So I was up at 4:30 this morning. Gavin usually starts wiggling around at 3am and it wakes me up. I can't wait till he gets the hiccups. Karlie had them at least once a day and it was so cool. His stoller and car seat came Wednesday and I love it. I have never bought any Saftey 1st products so I was a little leary, but it went together easy and it's pretty nice. I have always bought Graco stuff. Yesterday his Simmons baby mattress came so now I am going to wait to see what I get at my baby shower and then I will finish up my shopping. I just need to get a rocking chair and a night stand for a lamp and his room will be done. I will post a picture when its complete. In 4 more days I will only have 12 weeks left! That is crazy. I am ready though. Being pregnant this time around has been very stressful and harder on my body than it was 12 years ago. I can only hope my delivery goes quick. Happy holiday weekend!

Week 24- Time is flying!

Had my 24 week appointment today. Everything went great. His heart beat was good and he measured on target. Only one more appointment and then I start going in every 2 weeks! CRAZY! After my appointment on the 9th, the months will start flying by, not that they aren't already. I am so ready to meet my little man. I'm ready to kiss his cheeks and tiny fingers. Gavin is about 13 inches long and weighs about 2 pounds. I have gained 12 pounds total, not too bad I don't think. My goal is under 30 pounds, I am over halfway done with my pregnancy and I haven't even gained half my goal. I think if I really start watching my sugar and carbs and adding in an evening walk, I can make my goal.  The last couple months of pregnancy is when you gain the most, so I feel good about it.

I'm still really hoping I can breastfeed. We started buying a pack of diapers everytime we go grocery shopping so we can stock up through the winter months, especially when I'm not working. So If I can breastfeed, that will save us even more money. I can't believe how expensive formula is! It's been 11 years since we have had to buy it and MAN it's amazing. Here is a picture of my Bebe bump taken at 6 months. It's getting big!!