As I sit here with 4 days until my due date it is hard to imagine how you can love someone so much that you've never met.
Maybe it's because they have been with you everyday for the last nine months, or that you felt them move for the first time or hiccup daily, or maybe it's that you've heard their tiny heartbeat grow stronger and stronger throughout the last nine months. But, whatever the reason, you simply love and adore them unconditionally. I've gotten to know his individual personality and how he gets annoyed when he gets the hiccups. He doesn't like it when I lay on my back because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like when the elastic on the waist of my maternity pants intrude on his space and will push against it until I adjust them.
As my pregnancy comes to an end its truly a bittersweet time for me. Trying so hard for the last 10 years to have another child only to have nothing but disappointment shows me there are such things as miracles, they just happen when you least expect them. As much as I am ready to have my body back and be free from the burning hips and bruised feeling along my pelvis, the ache and numbness from pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in both hands and arms, more frequent than not bathroom breaks, tossing and turning all night because I can't get comfortable, perpetual heartburn, and inability to sit, walk, or stand for long because of intense pressure, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I would do it all again for either of my kids, even the one that I lost too soon. I guess that's what it's all about to be a mom.
So, this Christmas my wish is for everyone to believe in miracles. They may be big or little, but they are real. I will make this wish on Christmas day while I'm holding MY little miracle in my arms.
